Klein describes the relationship between a mother and a child with a baby's recognition stages when a mother breast-feeds a child. I argue that these steps can explain my understanding stages of my mother as a woman and a mother.

At the moment, I disliked her like a month-old baby.

When I was young, I was upset with my mom. Because she is not a typical mom like other moms. She was too overworked to participate in open-classes for parents. She was too busy to take care of my education. She was too busy to give me nice meals every morning. I wanted Maria, but she was not Maria. I think she tried to be Maria for me but she could not. 

Melanie Klein is a psychoanalyst who specializes in child psychology. She maintains that the mother is the first person with whom an infant forms a bond, which is formed by feeding. The mother is the most important person in the development of one's ego. Due to a "male-centered organizational culture," the father's presence in Korean society is frequently absent. The burden of parenting is entirely delegated to women, resulting in a closer bond between mother and child. It's difficult to distinguish the child's life from the mother's in this social context, where a child's success is related to maternal mythology and attributed to the mother's obligation.

When a mother does not fulfill her role as a mother, society easily denounces her. Maria as a maternal symbol is combined with this maternal mythology. When a mother breast-feeds an infant, Klein explains the bond between a mother and her child as a baby's awareness stages. These measures, I claim, will clarify my interpretation of my mother's stages as a woman and a mother. I will think about my relationship with my mother and consider her as a mother and a woman using this model.

Until three months, toddlers recognize a mother as a face, a right ear, a left ear, and a chin, not as an entity. They become enraged when the mother's breasts do not produce milk. They can perceive death as a threat. They simplify the mother's organ by depending on its feeding capability, whether it is good or poor.

From the age of three months, they begin to consider mothers as a whole by distinguishing between misunderstandings and facts. By maintaining a distance from her and withdrawing from her, they begin to love the mother and identify themselves. They also start to feel bad for how much they used to despise and attack her. They are attempting to rehabilitate her by loving and caring for her.

Another moment, I disliked her like a month-old baby. 

I have an old photo of the birthday party for babies born on the same date. Around 20 mothers are holding their babies, as they are smiling. I was the only one being held by my grandmother. I have been upset about this.

Again, another moment I disliked her like a month-old baby. 

I recall a happening in an art class when I had to prepare a photo from magazines or newspapers associated with my area in the future. My mom was busy helping me to get an image of the painter. She drew the photo in person for me. As I remember, it was a lovely green scenery in my dream. At that time, I disliked her gift. I complained about her duty. Still, I wish I could see it again after understanding her now. 

At the moment, I feel guilty about her like a month-old baby.

My mother had to give up a lot of things. She did not want to get married. She married following the social convention that women normally get marriage around late twenty. She wanted to be an artist. She is talented at drawing. Unfortunately, her family did not have the resources to support her dream. She had to take care of her two younger brothers as the first daughter. She became a banker after graduating from high school rather than chasing her dream.

My mother was not always a woman who fit the female gender roles that society demanded. Unlike Eve or Maria, who feed babies in a biologically and socially determined manner, she showed me love in her own way.

I imagine what if she were a boy, or if she was not a daughter like the woman in the photo. I keep imagining other pictures that she might become a snow; woman that she does not need to follow the social stage as a woman.

Psychoanalysis investigates the application of unbalanced psychiatric internal and external social needs. It examines dormant feelings, impulses, and thoughts using latent unconsciousness rather than conscious awareness. It looks at the unconscious as well as tangible events, but it does not rule out the possibility of chance. The unorganized writings that have accumulated have shaped who I am today. Conversation will help us understand this unconsciousness.

Painting is one of ways for me to communicate with myself. Painting is a bridge between the body and the job. I want to say a painter a canvas confront each other. The artist can influence the outcome in certain ways, such as through colour, composition, and other variables, but they can't monitor anything as precisely as computers. The body responds honestly and unconsciously during this phase. This relationship between my body and mind is similar to a dialogue between the past and the present. My unconsciousness is graphically depicted by drawing, as implied by various stories. I reminisce on my childhood through the eyes of a baby in this series of performances from the perspective of a 26-year-old woman. I am preparing myself for the future, as I am as mature as she in my mother's photograph.